Thursday, 12 May 2011

striking a balance between going forward and pausing

Having reduced things right down to really raw stuff, on some days having no bread or coffee etc either, I'm reaching bit of a no-go point within myself, and having to back off a bit. I find myself craving something that'll give me a hit - e.g. bread, coffee. This doesn't bother me too much - I see the things I used to really want, and how these desires have gone gradually.

So today had bread, and coffee, as well as my usual raw stuff. The other thing, is that my deeper feelings of existence seem to disappear when my food intake is really reduced at the moment. I know that this doesn't have to be this way, that it's just a question of adaptation. My entire motivation toward refinement are the very real feelings of the sublimeness of consciousness.

It's curious the dynamic between using the Will to progress along this path, and letting grace and light and love do its part. It's like a handshake. Getting the balance between the choosing to move forward, and letting light happen, appears to be the thing. Something like that, anyway. 

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