food update

Eating very minimally at the moment.Some oats with rice milk for breakfast, and some salad for lunch with pitta, but might not even have that today. Don't lack in energy, but can sometimes feel a slowness in me (esp. in my joints) but I know this has got to do with negative energy from before (perhaps acids that have collected in the joints), rather than genuine tiredness. Been doing a lot of stretching and movement, muscle toning I suppose (press-ups, squats etc)

Have also halted coffee for a while, didn't seem right for me.

Give me food!

For many days I wasn't having an evening meal anymore, but recently I was feeling really melancholy, and like I had a lot of stuck energy in me, around my head. Strange feelings of sadness just coming over me. I think these feelings have arisen out of me, not because I'm lacking in anything (i.e. nutrition-wise), but because eating so much less than I have in the past, hasn't been allowing any silt or sand to accumulate on top of my inner thoughts and emotions. All these accumulated feelings and impressions.  I guess this is where it can get tricky.

In the past I have often dealt with feelings that come out of me, through various means - e.g. exercise, breathing, music etc, but this time I've started eating again in the evenings. It's ok, but feels sort of retro! The one thing I notice, is that 1) it hasn't improved my general energy 2) it hasn't dealt with these feelings popping up from inside of me. But it has covered them up somewhat and provided me with a sense of normality. But how can I talk about normality, when deeper realities have always been clear to me...

I'm going to have to face up to some things, again. I saw a Jericho Sunfire video sometime back, where he was saying that people just don't want to 'pay the piper', as it were. He's right there. Practically no-one wants to pay the piper and go through the difficulties and pains. It's weird, I don't know why I'm on this path of food refinement, but I am. 

no more evening meals

The main thing that has been happening to me at the moment, is that the fruits I've been having in the evening, haven't been feeling right, and so I haven't been having anything in the evenings anymore. So it seems that I'm having two meals a day now. My weight hasn't changed though. Presumably, the weight content of fruit, for these evening meals, was next to nothing anyway.

It feels so great not eating in the evenings. I really feel like I'm treating myself well like this. It's like, at last, I can breathe easy. I'll drink a juice though.

Been wondering about my coffee drinking in the mornings, as I can feel its effects on me, in not such good ways.

A main theme in my blogging, looking back on things, is that I've been wanting to maintain a healthy approach to food. That is, not develop a negative complex toward food or eating; this is because, I feel that without the correct energies in place, having a negative view of food, doesn't lead down a good road.  I've always felt that life is about celebration in all its forms, not the opposite. Any form of transcendance - and that includes breatharianism - I feel should come from a stable place. Just my viewpoint.

Having said that, I experience more and more this feeling, that I'm just putting earth into my mouth, and that it's not necessary. I can feel these strong automatic tendencies, especially in the mornings, toward toast and coffee. Not that it's wrong in any way, but a part of me doesn't like being in automatic mode over anything. I don't like being a robot, or in this case a  food robot.