Thursday, 22 September 2011

fundamental shift of view of self

Running and physical training going really well, but I've been burning off more stuff in the process and as I result my face looks thinner, even though my weight stays the same. Because I've been running harder, and am fed up with looking so skinny, I  decided to eat a lot more raw stuff, especially avocados and nuts, for the protein. What an error this was... It produced really urgent bowl movements. I was just eating a lot of these things, trying to fatten up, or something, and all it's done is make me want to go to the loo urgently, it's not been nice. It's as if my guts are throwing everything out.

Since last blog entry have been eating 100% raw. Coffee, have had one full coffee on one day, and two half coffees on two other days. Strange, I seem to be able to drink half a cup in a coffee shop, and leave the rest. I don't know how that is possible!!

I can feel these immense changes going on within me, and it's as if there's a fundamental shift in the way I view myself. Added to this, these feelings of love and so on, everywhere. I'm being so much more patient with  my children, which for me is the main thing, the real thing that counts for me. I don't see any value in food reduction and so on, if it doesn't allow deeper and truer things to take hold - like love!

Maybe I've been training too hard and should slow down a bit. I just enjoy so much running over the hills, it's amazing. The problem is that the running has been over-energizing my system and I don't sleep at night afterwards.

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