Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Give me food!

For many days I wasn't having an evening meal anymore, but recently I was feeling really melancholy, and like I had a lot of stuck energy in me, around my head. Strange feelings of sadness just coming over me. I think these feelings have arisen out of me, not because I'm lacking in anything (i.e. nutrition-wise), but because eating so much less than I have in the past, hasn't been allowing any silt or sand to accumulate on top of my inner thoughts and emotions. All these accumulated feelings and impressions.  I guess this is where it can get tricky.

In the past I have often dealt with feelings that come out of me, through various means - e.g. exercise, breathing, music etc, but this time I've started eating again in the evenings. It's ok, but feels sort of retro! The one thing I notice, is that 1) it hasn't improved my general energy 2) it hasn't dealt with these feelings popping up from inside of me. But it has covered them up somewhat and provided me with a sense of normality. But how can I talk about normality, when deeper realities have always been clear to me...

I'm going to have to face up to some things, again. I saw a Jericho Sunfire video sometime back, where he was saying that people just don't want to 'pay the piper', as it were. He's right there. Practically no-one wants to pay the piper and go through the difficulties and pains. It's weird, I don't know why I'm on this path of food refinement, but I am. 

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