Thursday, 27 January 2011

No calmness = a need for food

It's been a long while since I updated my blog. So, in brief, since before Christmas time, these are some things that went on, and which I observed.

Over Christmas I at more than usual (vegan). Sort of a feeling of pressure from those around me, and yet, not from them really. More to do with my own sense of...isolation I suppose, and so joined in more. Need to develop more inner strength. Be part of company in different ways, apart from the social activity of eating.

What I observed was this, mainly: on eating more than usual again, I developed a pain in my torso, exactly the same as when I cut down radically. The very same pain, but a little attenuated. Strange that - it corroborates things I've read, that coming off drugs, or going onto drugs, creates the same kind of symptoms, and that there is an equivalence with food. I experience this to be true. Food and emotion are hard-wired together.

What I find extraordinary, is despite my own tendency to sabotage the work of energies that are working with me, there is a definite process still going on. I can feel grumpy, irate even, or I can be happy and calm, and the work continues. But I know that the happy and calm state, allows the subtle energies to function fluidly, while the other state of mind does not.

I experienced a sense of disappointment from some outside entity, that after Christmas I continued shovelling food in, as if I was a rubbish bin. And in fact, when I walk around the supermarket and see the things in people's trolleys - including mine - I wonder, why do we treat our bodies as if they were rubbish bins? Obviously there are different levels, for example, minced-up animal in cellophane, is a grotesque and unecessary thing to ingest, but so is rubbishy wheat products (which so many people are unknowingly allergic to, especially the fermentation process). It's to do with a feeling of lack, which is also hard wired into us. So we open our mouths and pour in stuff which is unsuitable.

So while it's true to say that there is a process that I can't stop, this feeling of disappointment from an outside entity, tells me that there has to be greater coordination between myself and the entities who work with body refinement. This body refinement is a thing that needs to be done, needs to happen, for this world. I was surprised at this feeling of disappointment I was feeling from outside of me, as if I  had let the team down. It's strange, but there is such a distinct feeling and quality to these beings involved with the process of body elevation.

I need to work a little harder at processing the energies.

I don't miss the taste of any food really, if it's there I enjoy it, but if it's not, I really don't care at all. But it's a little difficult being a family person with young children. To constantly remain calm and composed, when everything is a pulling me away from that. I'll find a way.

No comments:

Post a Comment