Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Negative Emotions and Food

Something is definitely going on inside of me. Sometimes I feel like my body is a totally different entity to who or what I’m used to. I also feel that it’s turning into something different, and I can feel different energies at work. I can feel an accumulation of energy in me, that is so solid that it even feels physical,  it’s like an energy of light with real opacity, or substance. So i feel strong at the moment.  For me, this is a deeply welcome transformation - I even feel that everything that I have gone through in my life, is to bring me to this point.

An aspect of things, is that I find myself continually challenged as to my thought patterns on basically everything. I might write one thing or another, but it’s only a perspective, an opinion. In many ways, I really don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t even think (!), that thinking in an analytical fashion has any great use in the scheme of things. I don’t know.

While working on what I put into my body, I’ve been experiencing real irritation recently. On the one hand I feel that I’m working  through stuff, and getting rid of stuff, while on the other, I feel that inner essences are being re-balanced, to get to a better blend of passivity/assertiveness. This irritation is a curious thing - I feel so irritable, when there’s no real reason for it. Conventionally I might think to myself, it’s because my blood sugar levels are down, but I know that this isn’t the whole answer. As irritability passes, I feel peaceful and somehow secure. Then feelings of irritation and sort of soreness come back. It makes me think of when I cut down drastically from being veggie to vegan, an incessant pain that I had across my chest area - this was emotional pain, for various reasons, but which went some time ago now, and no longer experience.

I’m learning that it isn’t so much what I eat, it’s quantity that matters - the less the better. For example, this morning I had some orange juice, for lunch a sandwhich with lettuce and a veggie sausage in it (ha ha, like a good old fashioned sausage butty). This evening? I don’t feel like I want to have anything really, but will be eating with my other half some cooked food, due to a difficult day (last night was just fruits again). Just being outside under the moon and the stars, in the cold air, was enough. But  today has been difficult for various reasons.

Which brings me onto the title of this blogpost: negative emotions and food. They are so connected I think (just my subjective opinion). There’s nothing much to conclude about this, except that negative emotions clearly trigger a need for something - usually food. And negative emotions can lead to so many different types of food problems, addiction or aversion. This is also why I have been so keen to keep a healthy approach to food, and its place. The refinement of a bodyspiritual nature, which I find myself writing about, and this need to refine food intake, I want to conduct in a positive and even cheerful way, perhaps as a way of rooting out negativities and avoiding potential (psychological) problems. This means being happy about eating, if it lasts, and allowing the subtle processes to slowly become more established.

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