Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Negative emotions creating over-thinness?

This isn't getting better, it's getting worse! I'm only slightly complaining, more observing really :-)It's just that everything is tasting more and more fake somehow. I've had this thing where I want to be fatter, cause I'm 6'2" and 10 stone - I've been this weight for a very long time - so have been trying to eat more normally. It's not  working. My fitness and strength is great on this weight, so perhaps I shouldn't worry. I don't look skeletal, but I do look like someone without one ounce of fat on me. My running strength and stride length really improved. I suppose some of these long distance runners look just like this, which they do.

I'm so bored of foods, even fruits a lot of the time. I wonder what this all means? I get excited over the idea of eating something I haven't for a while, but it's always a let down.

Added is the fact that my weight just doesn't vary much, no matter what I eat. In fact, I seem to gain weight when I'm mostly fruits, all the water I guess. I actually think that it's negative emotions also that can lead to over-thinness - I've noticed that my weight drops a little when I'm in a funk and eating normal foods, but more than can be accounted for by less fruits. This is strange. The most extreme manifestation of this I suppose are anorexics - negative emotions holding the body in a self-depleting cycle. This however is different, I'm mostly very positive and enjoy life and the basis of my life, has always been an understanding of the deeper things of creation. We are beings of light! etc

So my weight. I had this idea that it might be possible to fatten up on cooked foods and so on, and with these new changes in me, I could then eat non-cooked and keep the weight on, as I wouldn't be shedding so many negative emotions. I wonder if anyone has had any experience of this?

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